This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
