his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize