I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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