"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
