Don't make out with my wife yet
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All the doctor said was why
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I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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