dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
this will be a night to untag.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Holy shit dude........stairs
You did what with his pubic hair?
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