I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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