Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
