did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
