u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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