Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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