just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
