I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
