I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize