Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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