We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize