Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
