i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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