Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he thought i was a dude.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
