I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My penis needs a shock collar
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
