I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
