Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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