Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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