thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize