I'm drive I can fine osifer
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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