Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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