...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
