brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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