yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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