Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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