exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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