he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Randomize