it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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