tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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