So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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