Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
