There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
