You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
