Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
