But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
