Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

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  (612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me http://tfl.nu/erth
  Replies (72) Good night (980) Bad night (2366)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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  (479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m
  Replies (42) Good night (829) Bad night (2674)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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  (815): I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value. http://tfl.nu/83po
  Replies (14) Good night (4640) Bad night (654)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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  (508): I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that http://tfl.nu/gfaw
  Replies (24) Good night (3972) Bad night (1706)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (960) Bad night (11639)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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  (606): Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes. http://tfl.nu/z8mg
  Replies (23) Good night (3570) Bad night (2025)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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  (928): This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/2tuo
  Replies (15) Good night (1015) Bad night (3554)
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  (818): View more from California

  you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.

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  (818): you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel. http://tfl.nu/uvlc
  Replies (11) Good night (2637) Bad night (665)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.

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  (208): Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos. http://tfl.nu/080u
  Replies (7) Good night (2553) Bad night (673)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1292) Bad night (415)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Alive.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So much puke

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  (978): Alive. (978): So much puke http://tfl.nu/8jc8
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (837)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

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  (503): So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30! http://tfl.nu/8l9n
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03

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  (304): Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03 http://tfl.nu/37tw
  Replies (3) Good night (249) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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  (703): Is it possible to break your brain with drugs? http://tfl.nu/145b
  Replies (7) Good night (251) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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  (865): Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night. http://tfl.nu/toib
  Replies (0) Good night (235) Bad night (409)

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