Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (1198) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

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  (804): Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men http://tfl.nu/7ncn
  Replies (39) Good night (1043) Bad night (2394) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  how hairy? two words: wookie tits

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  (415): how hairy? two words: wookie tits http://tfl.nu/0tmt
  Replies (32) Good night (567) Bad night (5575) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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  (858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b
  Replies (27) Good night (652) Bad night (8221) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

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  (248): she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing. http://tfl.nu/gzcy
  Replies (26) Good night (13496) Bad night (996)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend

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  (217): The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend http://tfl.nu/q6fw
  Replies (14) Good night (5109) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight

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  (610): 3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight http://tfl.nu/lsa5
  Replies (3) Good night (2319) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.

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  (+27): He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy. http://tfl.nu/pi4j
  Replies (3) Good night (1522) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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  (717): well in DOG beers, i've only had one http://tfl.nu/2mnf
  Replies (20) Good night (5303) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.

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  (801): I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens. http://tfl.nu/q3si
  Replies (8) Good night (1964) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face

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  (330): I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face http://tfl.nu/xoka
  Replies (7) Good night (598) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (767) Bad night (1744) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.

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  (270): No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call. http://tfl.nu/mofx
  Replies (11) Good night (3464) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.

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  (423): I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt. http://tfl.nu/6dgk
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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  (514): So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much? http://tfl.nu/8ysl
  Replies (7) Good night (1508) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt

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