My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.