Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?

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(646): View more from New York

we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

(219): View more from Indiana

you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

(646): View more from New York

nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

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(661): View more from California

It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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(231): View more from Michigan

... drunk me broke the coffee table?

(616): View more from Michigan

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.

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(206): View more from Washington

Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.

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