You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
