Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
