Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
