And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Green mimosas i think yes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize