of course. lets lasso hookers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
