i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
