I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
