the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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