so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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