I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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