I love black thongs
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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