in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
