Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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