the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
