Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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