is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
