put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
