So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
