If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
