i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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