i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
