just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
