just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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