Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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